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Dirty school yard rhymes – a history


Man Named Jed

Posted on September 19th, 2010 by superadmin

Warning: This contains a racial slur which was meant to infer Jed’s racist mentality and hillbilly ignorance.

Well, lemme’ tell ya story
’bout a man named Jed
Born a motherfucker
with a rubber on his head

Then one day
When he was shootin’
at some “Jews” (or “spooks”)
Out from the barn comes Elly May nude
Nude that is, no clothes on

Next thing ya know
Old Jed’s sittin’ there
Suckin’ on her tits
and pullin’ on her hair

Down goes the zipper
and out comes the worm
Out from the worm
Cums a bubblin’ sperm
Sperm that is, wet dream

~Buffalo Grove, IL

9 Responses to "Man Named Jed"

  1. I’ll tell you a story ’bout a man named Jed,
    Went for a wank in the garden shed,
    Saw a dirty woman swimming in the nude,
    Up came his cock with a bubble of sperm.
    (black man’s toothpaste)
    They fucked and they fucked till his balls went red,
    Fell out of bed and hurt his head,
    Saw an old granny with nothing to do,
    Come on old granny I’ll fuck you too…

    I’m sure whoever told me this got it wrong, but it was funny as hell then, and it’s funny as hell now.

    First heard it in 1986.

  2. Come and listen to my story
    ’bout a man named Jed,
    He had a lot of hair
    but it wasn’t on his head.

    And then one day
    he was shootin’
    at some food
    and up through the ground
    come a red-head nude.

    Pure Naked
    Real Red-head.

    Well, the next thing ya know
    Old Jed’s in bed.
    Screwin’ off his balls
    You know that’s Jed.

    Along comes Granny with a ten-foot Pole,
    And shoved it up Jed’s old asshole.

    Sung by a homo quartet.
    You’ve got a boner we’ll bet.
    And a big one too.

    ~Wheaton, IL 1981

  3. Let me tell you a story about a man named jed, went for a wank in the garden shed. Saw Mary ellen in the nude up from his dick came a bubbleing crud. Sperm that is black mans toothpaste. Well next minute you know jed’s in bed, fuckin’ Mary Ellen till his balls are red along comes Granny in the nude and jed’s says come on Granny I’ll fuck you too.

  4. Come and listen to a story about a man named Jed , he picked up Granny and he threw he on the bed, down came his zipper and out came his worm and up from his dick came a bubbling sperm, black gold, Texas Tea.

  5. He who writes on shithouse walls, rolls his shit into tiny balls. He who reads these words of wit, EATS those tiny balls of shit.

  6. Come and listen to a story about a man named Jed,
    Had a lot of hair but it wasn’t on his head.
    Then one day he was shootin’ at some food,
    Up pop a lady in a nude..

    Naked that is. Baaaaare naked..

    Well the first thing you know ol Jed’s in the truck,
    Pants down, balls out ready for a fuck.
    Then comes Granny with a three oh three,
    and blows his balls to Beverly..

    Hills, that is. Swimmin pools and sexy stars.

    ~ Auckland, New Zealand c. 1992

  7. Come and listen to a story bout a man named Jed
    Poor mountaineer caught granny in the bed
    Pulled down his pants and out came a worm
    Out from the worm came a bubblin’ sperm
    Babies that is, twins, maybe more.

    Iowa early 70’s

  8. There once was a man, his name was Jed
    He went for a wank, behind the garden shed
    Saw some maids, swimming in the nude
    And up from his balls came a bubbling crude
    Spunk that is

    Next thing you know, old Jeds in bed
    Screwing on his maids till his balls were red
    In comes granny with nothing else to do
    Jump in granny and I’ll fuck you too

  9. Well, listen to my story bout old man Jed, Donkey punched Ellie and threw her on the bed,
    pulled on the Zipper and whipped out his Worm, and She yanked on his gizzerd til he fuckin blew his sperm…

    well the next thing ya know EllieMae is having kids, Old Jethro said “there’s a Mexican in there!” Jed took a hatchet and hit her in the Gash- and now that beaner is Collectin’ Welfare cash…

    Old Granny took to selling off her ass, swims out to troop ships make the easy cash- Pay for that geezer aint the thing you oughta do- Cuz your balls will sweel like they pumped em up with crude…Pus that is…Big Sores, Scabby Sac!

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