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Dirty school yard rhymes – a history


Spike Milligan says…

Posted on January 26th, 2012 by superadmin

Said Hamlet to Ophelia,
I’ll draw a sketch of thee,
What kind of pencil shall I use?
2B or not 2B?

Submitted by Dermot

Eat me bite me blow me

Posted on November 29th, 2010 by superadmin

Eat me bite me blow me
suck me fuck me very slowly
If you want me don’t be hasty
Lick your lips and make me tasty


Lulu had a steamboat

Posted on September 27th, 2010 by superadmin

Lulu had a steamboat
Steamboat had a bell,
Lulu pulled the wrong cord…and blew them all to…
HELL-o operator, give me #9, if you disconnect me, I’ll kick you in the…
HIND the fridgerator, there was a piece of glass, Lulu slipped and fell on it and bust’ her little…
ASSk me no more questions, tell me no more lies, Lulu’s up in heaven, a shootin” German spies!

Learned around 1973

Man Named Jed

Posted on September 19th, 2010 by superadmin

Warning: This contains a racial slur which was meant to infer Jed’s racist mentality and hillbilly ignorance.

Well, lemme’ tell ya story
’bout a man named Jed
Born a motherfucker
with a rubber on his head

Then one day
When he was shootin’
at some “Jews” (or “spooks”)
Out from the barn comes Elly May nude
Nude that is, no clothes on

Next thing ya know
Old Jed’s sittin’ there
Suckin’ on her tits
and pullin’ on her hair

Down goes the zipper
and out comes the worm
Out from the worm
Cums a bubblin’ sperm
Sperm that is, wet dream

~Buffalo Grove, IL

Do your balls hang low?

Posted on June 8th, 2010 by superadmin

Do your balls hang low?
Do you drag them in the snow?
Do you beat your meat on the toilet seat?

Farty McCrablice circa 1975; saw different parts of this rhyme at this site; unknown school location; don’t recall the rest

Old lady named Dot

Posted on April 27th, 2010 by superadmin

There was an old lady named Dot,
Who lived on dogshit and snot,
When she could not get these,
She ate the green cheese,
That she got from inside her twat.

-Rod Brock

Dirty old Army cadences

Posted on April 27th, 2010 by superadmin

Learned these from a retired Army dude.

See that girl up on the hill?
She won’t do it, but her sister will.

See that girl all dressed in black?
She makes her livin’ layin’ on her back.

See that girl all dressed in pink?
She done made my finger stink.

She that girl all dressed in yella?
I hate to tell ya’, but she’s really a fella.


-Rod Brock

Barney poem

Posted on April 27th, 2010 by superadmin

I love you, you love me
You can contact my attorney
‘Cause I’m worth millions
And if you want a cut
You can kiss my purple butt.

– Heard several years ago in Bellingham, WA, at a party, I think.


Posted on January 31st, 2010 by superadmin

U-G-L-Y You ain’t got no alibi you ugly what what you ugly
M-A-M-A How you think you got that way yo mama what what yo mama
-Laurence Holliman, Mound Bayou, MS
Circa elementary school

Lincoln, Lincoln

Posted on January 30th, 2010 by superadmin

Lincoln, Lincoln
I’ve been thinkin’
What the heck have you been drinkin’
Looks like water, tastes like wine
oh my gosh its turpintine
-Joe Geraci, Portsmouth, NH


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