I had a little dog his name was Jack. He shit all over the railroad track. The train came by the shit flew high and hit the conductor right in the eye. I had a little monkey I sent him to the country fed him on a loaf of gingerbread. Ziffo! Zafffo! kicked him in […]
Q. What time is it? A. Half past a monkey’s ass, quarter til his balls. -Reed, Wyoming
Fudge, fudge call the judge Mama’s gonna have a baby Wrap it toilet paper Send it down the escalator What’s it gonna be? A boy, a girl, twins or triplets? A boy, a girl, twins or triplets? A boy, a girl, twins or triplets? Cin-der-ella, hair of yella Went upstairs to kiss a fella How […]
Old McDonald sitting on a fence picking his balls with a monkey wrench he went to the doctor and the doctor said oh my gosh your balls are dead -BHARATHI GOWDA
Oh yeah…a cool trick to play on kids… Q: What were you eating under there? A: Huh? Under where? Q: HAH-HAAAAH! You were eating underwear!! ok one more… Tell the kid, “When I say ‘I’m a gold lock’, you say ‘I’m a gold key’, and when I say ‘I’m a silver lock’ you say ‘I’m […]
Great green globs of greasy, grimy gopher guts mutiliated monkey meat dirty little birdy’s feet lukewarm vomit floatin’ down the avenue don’t you wish you had a spoon…. or even a straw -S. Edmonds, Larned, KS
Great big globs of greasy grimy gopher guts Mutilated monkey meat Dead baby parakeets Great big globs of greasy grimy gopher guts And me without my spoon Many variations exist. “[your name here]’s Made of greasy, grimy…”, “chopped up liver meat” instead of “dead baby parakeets”, “french-fried eyeballs boiled in a pot of beans” instead […]
What are you going to do for a face when the monkey wants his bum back? -A. Nonymous, England
